Research recently coming out of Oregon State University has focused on me, Barbie, and it is troubling news. It's hard enough to sleep with these eyes of mine, but damn, now I can't stop having nightmares. I guess I should see my therapist.
Well hello Barbie, I'm Nurse Ken. You're here to see Dr. Barbie?
Just follow me. I'll take you straight in.
Oh Barbie, it's good to see you. Come on in and lie down on the couch. I'm here to listen.
Dr. Barbie, I've been having these awful dreams......you've read that after playing with Barbie dolls for just 5 minutes, little girls feel limited in their career choices, right? But playing with Mrs. Potato Head for 5 minutes inspires them to pick as many choices as boys?
Last night I woke up screaming after potatoes invaded my work place.
It's depressing. Demeaning. Why couldn't it have been Thomas the Tank, Raggedy Ann, a Lego set, the Velveteen Rabbit, anybody but MRS POTATO HEAD. I could just cry...except I can't.
You gotta help me, Dr. Barbie.
banned in Saudi Arabia, survived the taunts of anorexia, been shamed by GreenPeace, and remember when you were accused of encouraging children to get tattoos (yes, really)? That's just a few of your past issues. And yet here you are.