Kombucha

Almost exactly a year ago I had kombucha for the very first time, grabbing a bottle to have with my bagel sandwich at the little bakery where my son worked in Ithaca, NY. The label was attractive, and I thought it was just raspberry iced tea. My daughter considered it a little odd, but maybe kind of cool: "You know it's fermented with a mushroom," she said. Well, no, that was news to me, and kind of bad news at that: like long ago when I found out tequila centered around a worm. Are you kidding? Who thinks of these things?  But after paying 4 bucks for it, I drank the whole thing, dammit.

The dark shape is the scoby floating in a gallon of tea.

Now, 12 months later, I find myself tenderly minding a gallon of this stuff in a dark warm place in my pantry. After conferring with one of John's young, smart, fantastic graduate students...let's just call her Meagan...I made a batch.

Meagan, you  see, sensing a sucker, had given me a scoby (Symbiotic Culture of Bacteria and Yeast, not really a mushroom) a few weeks ago. She gave me some directions and after looking it up on youtube, that paragon of reference material, I became brave. The scoby is gross, like a giant, perfectly oval, pounded chicken breast floating in the sweetened tea. When it finally makes its way to the top of the gallon of fermenting liquid, it creates a baby scoby. If you keep brewing this stuff, it keeps multiplying.

Here is a list of possible benefits, copied from a website that compiled info from 600 participants:

• 1. Great beverage
• 2. Sense of well-being
• 3. Helps to relieve congestion in airways
• 4. Thicker hair (whoopee!)
• 5. Energy boost
• 6. Straightened my hair out!
• 7. Helps osteo arthritis
• 8. Great conversation piece! :)
• 9. Licked Calcifying tendonitis
• 10. Helps with asthma
• 11. Has brought me into contact with some very caring people.
• 12. Stress buster
• 13.Very calming
• 14. Increase sex drive
• 15. Regulates Intestines.
• 16. Cured Candida Overgrowth.
• 17. Aides digestion - especially on top of dairy.
• 18. Addictive taste.
• 19. Eliminates or reduces heat rash.
• 20. Improved circulation/controlled venous stasis in shins
• 21. Clears and Improves skin
• 22. Makes a good hair rinse
• 23. Redundant 'Momma's make good brass cleaners!
• 24. Helped take the "scales" from a friends Skin disorder
• 25. Makes a wonderful, soothing foot soak.
• 26. Shrinking large fatty tumor.
• 27. Flattening and fading old age carotene patches on the face.
• 28. Stops severe menstrual cramps
• 29. Makes a wonderful facial.
• 30. Made me much more mobile with my gout.
• 31. Oncoming headlights do not bother me as much.
• 32. Reduces / stabilizes blood pressure.
• 33. Prevents and helps heal bladder infections
• 34. Eases carpal tunnel syndrome
• 35. Heals boils and staph infections on skin.
• 36. Prevents oral canker sores
• 37. Prevents eczema and psoriasis
• 38. Household Cleaner: cuts grease, cleans stoves, bathroom tiles, windows, copper
• 39. Hair and nails grow faster
• 40. I can see the pupils of my eyes again without glasses.
• 41. More energy
• 42. Clears nail fungus
• 43. Improves the sense of well being for people with liver Cancer
• 44. Helps an older woman feel and look younger
• 45. Helps Arthritis sufferers
• 46. Cleanses toxins from the system
• 47. Soothes burns and sunburn
• 48. Takes the sting and swelling away from Bee Stings
• 49. Good underarm deoderant
• 50. For some people; eliminates desire for alchohol, & helping to relax
• 51. Smashes flus and colds
• 52. Significant progress healing chapped lips from topical application of KT
• 53. Kombucha Colony makes a great poultice
• 54. Removes rust
• 55. Returns grey hair to it's natural color for some people
• 56. Improved eyesight 

The Mayo Clinic, however, does NOT recommend kombucha:

...there's no scientific evidence to support these health claims. There have, however, been reports of adverse effects such as stomach upset, infections and allergic reactions in kombucha tea drinkers. Kombucha tea is often brewed in homes under nonsterile conditions, making contamination likely. 

Woops.  Wait, it's still good for reason #8 on the above list.


Got a minute? This is funny, and kombucha does get mentioned: