Reub's journey

28 August 2012

In the middle

It's a nice calm place, at the end of a career and at the beginning of what's-next. Nowhere one must go, nothing one must do.
Just like summer vacation, right in the middle.




One of the kids has come back for a bit and although un-looked for, I'm loving it.




It was also a delight last week to have a visit from our oldest son and his family. Wow! He has a family now. He really does. A beautiful, tightly-knit little family, making me a mother-in-law and a grandmother.


But still a mom. I joked to John the other day: "I can't believe I'm 62 and still a MOTHER."


Seriously, what did I think back then when I first had children? At age 21 they would fly away forever, and I myself would revert to some former condition? Well, that's not how it works. Anybody knows this, except perhaps me, at age 40, preparing even then for the Great Separation.





 We had three amazing children who have become the kind of adults you would like to be around. If you were stuck in a spaceship with only a few companions, traveling through light years of time, any of these three would be welcome fellow-travelers, I promise. As a parent that was the goal: raise a fellow-traveler.




One-by-one, the travelers all come back to roost for a bit, and how cool is that?  Cluttered with books and animals, musical instruments, odd spices and artifacts, strange artistic tastes and an unattended yard, un-zen-like and anything but simple, the house can still be a refuge.




It's not really off topic to mention that the foster kittens, temporary guests who occupy a whole bedroom, are doing well.




As for me, I'm in a nice calm spot, the place in the middle of it all.


25 comments:

  1. That last shot is SO SWEET! Sounds like you did a wonderful job raising your children. I had three also, but only 2 of them would make good traveling companions, unfortunately. But 2 out of 3 isn't bad. Glad I had those other 2.

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  2. Gail: Maybe I exaggerated. Maybe on any given day the odds would be more like yours :o)

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  3. Well, they do turn into adults don't they? And it is nice when you like to be around your adult children. There was a time when the kids left and never came back I think. Back when travel took weeks, months, years. If they left, they probably didn't come back. How many parents never saw and enjoyed their grandchildren then? We are so lucky that leaving now isn't forever.

    And what a wonderful brink to be on, with the world open before you.

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    1. I hadn't thought about this with a historic perspective. You're right. Everybody moves around more now, but perhaps for that very reason today's generations aren't as split up as popular opinion would have it.

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  4. You sound very content and your beautiful photos reflect that. I love the floating feather and its shadow, the baby hand and sandy foot, starfish and tennis ball. All wonderful. And those sweet, darling kittens.. sigh!

    It's an amazing feeling to see our adult children and feel proud of who they are. Congrats on a job well done.

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    1. Thank you Hilary. I almost never write about my children, but the circumstances seemed to demand it. I'm pretty sure I can't take a whole lot of credit for who they are.

      I can't stop taking pictures of kittens!

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  5. sounds like you are in a heaven of your own making. :)

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    1. Maybe so. Heaven and hell are so often of my own making.

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  6. I am glad you are enjoying your nice spot. And how sweet of you to foster kittens. THey are lucky!

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    1. Thanks Rebecca. The kittens are easy.

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  7. Prepare yourself for the next roller coaster ride. they bring these little treasures that steal your heart and exhaust your initiative. they certainly keep me out of my rut.

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    1. Tabor: I'm sure I'll have my hands full should they ever move closer. But right now they live in Chicago & I hardly have to prepare myself at all.

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  8. Oh Kerry - to be in that middle space is wonderful. Time to reflect on where you were and think about where you want to go, what you want to do when you grow up! Soak it all up!

    As for your beautiful children - I'd travel with any of them - even the grandchild!! You've made a beautiful family, you and my bro!

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    1. Merry, this is the sweetest comment ever. You are only slightly ahead of me in Middle Space. I trust you are right.

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  9. sounds like a nice niche .. i am curious .. who drew that woman and then crossed her out in the first photo .. it reminded me of the doodles i did in math class in Jr High when i was supposed to be paying attention ...

    lovely post ..

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  10. I wonder too. I liked that scribbly drawing; it was the best one at the table, and right in front of me.

    I used to doodle ladies and horses.

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  11. What a beautiful post. The pictures are exquisite - so calming.

    Perhaps you will always be a mother, but surely you have put down some of the ongoing tasks and responsiblities, hey?

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  12. Laoch: Thank you. The kittens grow more adorable with each passing day.

    Reya: Thank you. We had a beautiful peaceful day at the beach.

    The responsibilities of motherhood definitely lessen as time goes by, but they never leave you completely. It's interesting to watch the mother cat I'm fostering right now. She is creating space between herself and her growing offspring, and becoming herself again.

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  13. Stay where you are, don't move; you might be able to hold on to the moment for a little while.

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  14. Replies
    1. Hello Rosaria! I bet you need a kitten! You are within range.

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  15. This post really hit a chord with me. In the last year, for various reasons, i have had to return to the bosom of my mothers home. And at times, i have sat and thought about how, as young adults, we fly the nest as we become true individuals, setting up lives of our own, families even and become independent. We believe that it's about how WE cope with life from now on, how WE deal with the trials and tribulations.

    But do we ever really become truly independent? I have come to the conclusion that those of us who are lucky to have mothers that are still with us, are never fully independent. And i've also realised, as i'm sure that anyone who is a mother knows, you never stop being a mother, no matter how old you are. I have learnt that in recent months...

    As always, your blog made me stop and think about the finer, more important things in life.

    Bless you Kerry

    Saul

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    1. The ties that bind children to parents and vice-verse should never break completely; I really believe that now. As a young adult, thinking that complete independence was the goal, I wasn't sure what would happen. Now I know better. You never stop being a parent, and you never stop being a son, daughter, or sibling.

      Thank you Saul. I wonder how your book is coming? Can't wait to read it.

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