"I don't like how that crown looks," he said, "I'll replace it at no cost."
Me: *crickets*...As I work through the difficult mental exercise of SOMETHING IS FREE versus
but the something is dental work...
"...if you'll let me" he finishes.
So I went in for a free replacement crown. Here is some advice if this happens to you:
- Don't let them insert a "mouth opener." It will not make you feel happy like this person. It spreads your mouth like a baleen whale. It is not the least bit comfy.
- However, visualizing is a great trick. Besides imagining a baleen whale, it was possible to visualize trees being felled by chainsaws, moths flying towards a headlight, a jackhammer, and...that's it.
- Take reading material, but it should probably be something that will not embarrass your Mormon dentist should he casually glance over at it while waiting for your Novocain injection to take effect. (So... not Blood and Beauty: the Borgias by Sarah Dunant, page 252, where Cesare Borgia is inappropriate with his sister Lucrezia)
- Avoid checking your watch. Free things can take a long time at the dentist, and this particular tooth is being difficult. You should allow 3 hours.
- Avoid thinking about a family dog, who is also spending the day having dental work completed. He went in at 8AM, accompanied by two sympathetic loved ones, his favorite people. He immediately took a nap, appeared to not mind anesthesia, came home at 4:30 in a pleasant fog, and ate some cat food. His teeth look spectacular and everybody notices.
- Remember that the dog's dental bill was over $500. Nobody can tell a difference in your teeth, but it was free. And you did get home before the dog.