Reub's journey

06 November 2013

Freebie

Free stuff is hard to pass up. I've taken freebies out of dumpsters, off the curb, and from the neighbors. Sounds pretty low, but you'd be surprised how many school teachers have done the same thing; we're that hard up. This week, though, I experienced my first free offer from a dentist.


"I don't like how that crown looks," he said, "I'll replace it at no cost."

Me: *crickets*...As I work through the difficult mental exercise of SOMETHING IS FREE versus
but the something is dental work...

"...if you'll let me" he finishes.


So I went in for a free replacement crown.  Here is some advice if this happens to you:




  • Don't let them insert a "mouth opener." It will not make you feel happy like this person. It spreads your mouth like a baleen whale. It is not the least bit comfy.
  • However, visualizing is a great trick. Besides imagining a baleen whale, it was possible to visualize trees being felled by chainsaws, moths flying towards a headlight, a jackhammer, and...that's it.
  • Take reading material, but it should probably be something that will not embarrass your Mormon dentist should he casually glance over at it while waiting for your Novocain injection to take effect. (So... not Blood and Beauty: the Borgias by Sarah Dunant, page 252, where Cesare Borgia is inappropriate with his sister Lucrezia) 
  •  Avoid checking your watch. Free things can take a long time at the dentist, and this particular tooth is being difficult. You should allow 3 hours.






  • Avoid thinking about a family dog, who is also spending the day having dental work completed. He went in at 8AM, accompanied by two sympathetic loved ones, his favorite people. He immediately took a nap, appeared to not mind anesthesia, came home at 4:30 in a pleasant fog, and ate some cat food. His teeth look spectacular and everybody notices.
  • Remember that the dog's dental bill was over $500.  Nobody can tell a difference in your teeth, but it was free. And you did get home before the dog.

25 comments:

  1. A free crown replacement. Amazing,unbelievable & incredible ! Is it that the crown was replaced earlier and carried a 5 year warranty and this was a free replacement under warranty. Or is it buy one get one free ie.Spend $500/- on the dogs dental and you get a free crown replacement?

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    1. RR: The crown was one he had replaced just a year ago & it shouldn't have failed, so that's why it was free. And luckily the dog doesn't get his teeth cleaned more than once in his lifetime. :)

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  2. Oh boy. Well, at least it was free. But I detest the dentist.

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    1. I know, ,right? The dread of dental work is no fun. That's another thing a dog never thinks about.

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  3. Oh...and I am a maniac about brushing my dog's teeth hoping to avoid a dental bill for him. Being a little one, he is prone to bad teeth. Hubby won't be too happy if something has to happen with the dog's teeth.

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    1. I try to avoid dental bills for the dogs too. Feeding them a carrot every day helps. This doggie had needy teeth when he was adopted at age 4 or 5, and my daughter finally decided to face the bill.

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  4. Free. Freeeeee. My last crown got up there into the hundreds of dollars...your dentist is awesome!

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    1. RG I love the word "free"!! I have a feeling this crown would have been extremely spendy b/c it took so long.

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  5. Dentists are starting to do too much to keep your mouth open, or they are inserting too much into it. I don't mind the dental work so much, but having my mouth propped open like that is just too much.

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    1. This thing-besides being agonizing-did not actually work so they ended up not using it. But by that time my mouth felt awful.

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  6. My jaw hurts just looking at that picture with the mouth opener.

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    1. Yeah. I hope to never see one of those things again.

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  7. oh, but not really a fun day for either of you!

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  8. I hope both you and the dog are recovering well from your dental adventures.

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    1. The dog is fine. And mostly I am too.

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  9. What's his name and where does he practice? I have lots of old crowns.

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    1. Ha. Old crowns should always be replaced for free. This was the 1st time that happened for me, but that's b/c it wasn't old at all. Luckily dental insurance usually covers much of the cost, which is exorbitant..

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  10. Kerry, your dog looks angelic. I just want to pat him on the head.

    You write with such muted wit. It's not showy, very pleasant with a keen intelligence shining through the construction.

    (Dental work sucks.)

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    1. Suze, I so appreciate your comments about writing. This is because you are a great writer and I really respect what you have to say, so thank you. I re-worked this post, originally beginning with a dialog & when I looked at it later it sounded affected & over-written. I've learned to never hit "publish" without walking away from it for awhile.

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    2. 'I've learned to never hit "publish" without walking away from it for awhile.'

      Slow lesson--lots of error on the way--but me, too.

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  11. Okay, I was going to ask what was the catch, then saw your answer to the first commenter. :) Hope this crown stays put! Love your jackhammer, etc. analogies. You are so funny. On another note, I read The Birth of Venus by Sarah Dunant a few years ago. Loved it!! Will have to check out the one you mentioned.

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    1. You read The Birth of Venus!!!!!!! I LOVE that book. I can't believe they haven't made a movie from it. The opening scene is absolutely made for a movie. This recent book is not as gripping. My daughter is re-reading Birth of Venus right now. Neither of these books is completely safe at the dentist's office.

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  12. Wow that Dentist deserves something...honorable. What a wonderful gesture of support!! So happy for you.

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    1. I guess. Although if the crown had been done differently a year ago I would not have had to go back. Still...it was FREE.

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