Reub's journey

11 March 2014

Barbie has therapy




Research recently coming out of Oregon State University has focused on me, Barbie, and it is troubling news. It's hard enough to sleep with these eyes of mine, but damn, now I can't stop having nightmares. I guess I should see my therapist.





Well hello Barbie, I'm Nurse Ken. You're here to see Dr. Barbie?



Just follow me. I'll take you straight in.



Oh  Barbie, it's good to see you. Come on in and lie down on the couch. I'm here to listen.



Dr. Barbie, I've been having these awful dreams......you've read that after playing with Barbie dolls for just 5 minutes, little girls feel limited in their career choices, right? But playing with Mrs. Potato Head for 5 minutes inspires them to pick as many choices as boys?




Last night I woke up screaming after potatoes invaded my work place.




I mean, really...MRS. POTATO HEAD??? I'm losing ground to MRS. POTATO HEAD???????? Over career choices?




It's depressing. Demeaning. Why couldn't it have been Thomas the Tank, Raggedy Ann, a Lego set, the Velveteen Rabbit, anybody but MRS POTATO HEAD. I could just cry...except I can't.



You gotta help me, Dr. Barbie.



 Well Barbie, let's look at the facts. You're 55 years old; you've survived the Cold War, the Vietnam War, been banned in Saudi Arabia, survived the taunts of anorexia, been shamed by GreenPeace, and remember when you were accused of encouraging children to get tattoos (yes, really)? That's just a few of your past issues. And yet here you are.



You're a survivor.  But even icons need a boost once in awhile, so I'm sending you home with a prescription for Prozac that should help your outlook, and I'll see you next month.





29 comments:

  1. You had fun with that one...getting cabin fever?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Is that my problem? Maybe it is! I was going to say it's spring fever, but it's embarrassing to admit I did this while the sun burst out and we're having a gorgeous spring day.

      Delete
  2. Poor Barbie.
    This is sooooo funny!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes, poor Barbie! She's been takin' it on the chin lately. The girl scouts recently disavowed her, and Mattel blames her for lagging sales. But Barbie endures!

      Delete
  3. i think it had something to do with that sports illustrated shoot and the 'unapologetic' thing. :) potatoes are comfort food!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It was a toss-up: I was going to do a thing on the SI cover, and then a bit on the "Average" Doll coming out in November, but when OSU came out with this news last week, well...
      Potatoes are comfort food, that is so. But Mrs Potato Head? Maybe she is that too. Then that makes Barbie cotton candy.

      Delete
  4. Do you think Barbie could benefit from a Potato brain transplant?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. There's a thought. I didn't know potatoes had brains to spare. Eyes, yes, but brains? I'll look into it, Geo.

      Delete
  5. I have to come back and reread this. Couldn't stop laughing. If my psychologist had an ass like Ken... oh wait, he does.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Of ALL the people to "crack up" over Ken's ass, you "Furry Bottoms," are the best!

      Umm...who is your psychologist?

      Delete
  6. Dolls were important to people as toys when I was small. I wonder fi they are still are to the new generations?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Good question. I bet their stature has eroded over time, and especially with the popularity if handheld devices for little kids. But there are still quite a few dolls and action figures out there, so I don't know, Laoch.

      Delete
  7. Funny! I'd prescribe a Stormy Manhattan over Prozac, any day.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Now that would improve one's outlook, right? She probably shouldn't take both, though.

      Delete
  8. 'But even icons need a boost once in awhile'

    :D

    You are a genius, my dear. Perfect utilization of the black and white shots, too, I must say.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Suze, The black and whites are my faves, all Ingmar Bergman-y. :-)

      Delete
  9. That was hilarious. Nurse Ken and Barbie's stare were awesome. You are quite the story teller. I just realized Barbie is a couple years older than me. Ha!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Gail it's fun posing Ken and Barbie. They're the perfect, unmoving models, just the opposite of try to photograph wildlife. And isn't it fun to think you're younger than Barbie? :-)

      Delete
  10. Seriously? All those Barbie dolls in all those professions and Mrs. Potato Head is a better role model?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I know. It ain't fair. Where is Mrs. Astronaut Potato Head? Hmmm?

      Delete
  11. I just saw my psychiatrist this week! He and the nurse definitely didn't look like Ken and Barbie!
    I love how Barbie just gets some Prozac for her troubles...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It would be SO great if they actually did look like Ken & Barbie; at least at the moment I think that would be hilarious and would knock anyone's doldrums outta the ball park. I spose in reality it would be creepy, sending one even further into therapy.

      Delete
  12. Oh geesh, you're a hoot. Is it wrong that I stared at Ken's ass for a moment?

    ReplyDelete
  13. haha!! You and Barbie both.

    ReplyDelete
  14. My girls liked Barbie dolls when they were young. I bought for them even though I don't agree with the pencil thin dolls.

    ReplyDelete
  15. I have another dog photo which you will like. The Pasifika people like their water melon Sundae during their summer hot festivals. I captured a photo of a dog eating them.Am teaching the kids about water melons and found the photo, pity the water melon was in a plasticbag. U giv your dog a sundae?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Our dogs would definitely eat a watermelon sundae! Me too.

      Delete

Talk to me.