Kerry's trumped-up photo of me and a bagel: this cracks me up. I live for moments like this.Eddy's Testimony:
"Well, yeah! The bagels were right there on the floor! Fun!! ...Oh, excuse me. My attorney wants a word with me....
OK. I'm back. I hardly even remember bagels. There may or may not have been bagels. I do not recall bagels. But I did hear Kerry yelling "COMB YOUR HAIR!!" When I heard that, I raced out of the room, around the corner, and down the steps. I do not like my hair combed, and yes, Portuguese Water Dogs have hair, not "fur". You should know that because of the whole Malia Obama allergic-to-dog-fur thing; don't you read the news? But I digress. I am not a thief. The bagels were on the floor! Anything that is on the floor is... oh, my lawyer needs to speak with me again..."
Eddy's attorney:
"I must ask you to cease and desist this frivolous attempt to defame my esteemed client, Yaquina Bay Eddy, graduate of Puppy Kindergarten, Doggy Play Class, Obedience I, Obedience II (Duration, Distractions, Distance) and Rally Obedience. Any evidence you may have against him is purely circumstantial, and will not hold up in a court of law. There is no evidence whatsoever that my client had contact with said bagel."
Eddy:
"I am pretty sure that the very next morning I heard John say he was gonna have "a toasted beagle and cream cheese" for breakfast. What do you think of that?"
"Well, yeah! The bagels were right there on the floor! Fun!! ...Oh, excuse me. My attorney wants a word with me....
OK. I'm back. I hardly even remember bagels. There may or may not have been bagels. I do not recall bagels. But I did hear Kerry yelling "COMB YOUR HAIR!!" When I heard that, I raced out of the room, around the corner, and down the steps. I do not like my hair combed, and yes, Portuguese Water Dogs have hair, not "fur". You should know that because of the whole Malia Obama allergic-to-dog-fur thing; don't you read the news? But I digress. I am not a thief. The bagels were on the floor! Anything that is on the floor is... oh, my lawyer needs to speak with me again..."
Eddy's attorney:
"I must ask you to cease and desist this frivolous attempt to defame my esteemed client, Yaquina Bay Eddy, graduate of Puppy Kindergarten, Doggy Play Class, Obedience I, Obedience II (Duration, Distractions, Distance) and Rally Obedience. Any evidence you may have against him is purely circumstantial, and will not hold up in a court of law. There is no evidence whatsoever that my client had contact with said bagel."
Eddy:
"I am pretty sure that the very next morning I heard John say he was gonna have "a toasted beagle and cream cheese" for breakfast. What do you think of that?"
I. am. completely. hooked.
ReplyDeleteRiveted.
Will John be able to support his alibi?
Will Eddy rely on his 15 minutes of fame as Whitehouse Pooch to get him out of this one?
ARE THEY IN CAHOOTS?
pant pant pant...
Oh this is just great! Just cause this dog can afford a fancy lawyer - a Kennedy, no less! - I've got to defend myself? Look, I wasn't even home at the time of the bagel heist! What about the rats? Nobody suspects the rats? Three strange rats in the house, and the PWD fingers me? I smell a rat!
ReplyDeleteI don't have much to add, but the word is "stessica!" How could I resist? Oh, and I think Eddy looks smarter than Bo.
ReplyDeleteOh, the rats. Now there is another angle. Yes indeed. We have not yet discussed the rats. Do they have to be involved in this? I was thinking of writing about them soon, under the title "What We Do for Our Children."
ReplyDeleteWait, why are you talking about rats? Are there rats in my room? Oh, wait, you're probably talking about the PET rats, aren't you? I can't believe Christopher and MG got away with that. Verrry sneaky. What kind of child keeps rodents as pets??? That is so weird.
ReplyDeleteI am OK with the rats, although it took some time. And they are in C's room, not yours: my stuff is in your room!
ReplyDeleteYeah Jessica never got away with rodents as pets....haha
ReplyDelete