|The local paper specializes in confusing captions. Bet you can't tell which person is me.|
They want cringe-worthy information that is difficult to provide:
Advice to colleagues
A photo, must provide at least one photo.
If I were to be honest about any of the answers, I would look like the biggest smart aleck ever, but the alternative is to answer with such sincerity as to evoke widespread nausea. So it's best to remain quiet, my trusty M.O.
If I were running this party, I'd make everybody take the "What Geologic Time Period Are You?" quiz: educational, short, and appropriate for anybody changing epochs. I was Neocene the 1st time, Jurassic the 2nd. I'm a dinosaur! Time to retire and evolve some more.