Reub's journey

24 May 2012

The dentist vs. the retirement party

I recently said that I would rather go to the dentist than to a retirement party. That turns out to be not exactly true.  I've experienced both this week, and although the retirement party wasn't exactly a blast, the dentist was slightly less fun.

 I suppose the same could be said of retirement parties, but when you go to the dentist you definitely have to work at it being fun.

You know how you don't really feel free to get out of the dentist's chair once you're in it? Don't feel that way! Because what are they going to do, arrest you? To take these pics I got up, my mouth full of some plastick-y stuff, and went to where the camera was hanging on a hook. I needed a picture of the amazing cascading red leaves outside the window.

 Because my car keys fell to the floor with an extremely loud crash, the assistant (who had left me alone for a few minutes) rushed back in. She was aghast, although I quickly got back to where I was supposed to be. Crossed my legs. Snapped a picture. Ah, see? Just a normal, obedient patient.

 Hopefully your dentist has a great array of magazines to read. You should take them with you when they call you in. I was able to read an entire article about how our universe is simply a single bubble in a giant bubble bath of universes, a great analogy.

So the visit to the dentist was a bit painful although somewhat exciting and educational, whereas the retirement party resulted in a nice red geranium and a marble paper weight in the shape of an apple, and very little pain. I dunno. If I had my druthers I would skip them both.


  1. I've never had much fun at either, either. As there are only two of us retiring this year from the system, we opted to not have a school funded party. Some of the avid party-goers dubbed us party poops but I've been one all my life and see no reason to change now ;) I told them to feel free to go hoist one for me at a place of their choice but not to wake me when they got home.

    Congratulations on your own retirement.

  2. Dentists are never the same once you have seen the movie, "Marathon Man."

  3. I think the reason we hate retirement parties is because we do not like being the center of attention. I feel I do not really deserve it. I was just doing my job like everyone else in the room and now my job is over.

  4. oh, sweet kerry. you survived. :)

  5. The only time I read People Magazine is when I am waiting in an office! haha. I really do not like the dentist...especially this year.

  6. Pauline: District-wide there were only 15 of us, less than 2 per school. I felt I should go b/c it is a sweet thing they do each year. And the hor dourves were great.

    Laoch: Marathon Man played upon my worst fears of the dentist! I never fail to think of it when in a dentist chair.

    Tabor: That's exactly how I feel. In fact I feel funny about being congratulated, too. Like I won a race, or got a PhD?

    twg: Trying to survive with aplomb. ha. I used the word "aplomb"!

    Rebecca: I'm convinced that medical facilities are the main subscribers to People, Good Housekeeping, Newsweek and many others. I do kind of look forward to reading trashy magazines and catching up on the latest celebrities! With each passing year I recognize fewer of their names.

  7. Retirement parties, though I have never been to one being self employed as I am, seem to me to be on a par with baby showers and wedding showers. Both of which I prefer not to attend.

  8. I had two wisdom teeth pulled two weeks ago. I didn't feel a thing because I paid the extra amount of money to be sedated. When the Dr. had made his last stitch, somehow I was aware enough to ask, "you're finished already? wow, that went by really fast." But then I was really sore from then on. It only hurts now when I yawn and I still can't chew on that side, but I survived.

    Glad you had some good reading material and felt inclined to get up out of your chair and take a pic.

  9. Ellen: Sometimes these group celebrations are fun, a sort of rite I suppose. So why do we dread them?

    JarieLyn: omg I had my wisdom teeth taken out years ago, decades, and I still remember it. It was terrible. Hope you're feeling better.

    I had a chance to say one thing to the doc during my ordeal this week: "I wish I had a bigger mouth." He was wearing a mask & I was slightly drugged, but I think he said: "I wish I had smaller hands."

  10. Ugh - the dentist. Glad that's all behind you.

    Lovely red leaves and what a cool idea, universe as bubble. Very cool.

    Congrats on your retirement! You and Pauline are both retiring this spring. How I wish we could gather for a blogger party to celebrate retirement and successful dentistry. Now THAT would be fun.

  11. I would be out of the chair and off for a massage somewhere. I just can't do the dentist....I am so nervous and tense and could cry at the drop of a hat. Just the thought of the dentist makes me dizzy....good thing I will never have to go again! Well for a cavity fill....Yeah porcelain! technology is blissful!

  12. Reya: I would give anything to meet Pauline and you in person!

    Linda: Really? You never need dental work? I want that technology. Before next week, when I have to go back again!


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